


The Aftermath

by Starry_Eyed_Writer



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash’s birthday, Ash’s death, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASH, Hurt No Comfort, I wasn’t aiming for that BUT, M/M, Short & Sweet, poetic writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25875631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starry_Eyed_Writer/pseuds/Starry_Eyed_Writer
Summary: Time has proven itself to be many things.It’s bitter and harsh yet passing and gentle. But it also creates a haze that blinds me as to how much of it has moved forward.Even with these passing, confusing years, I still made it back to you.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Kudos: 10





	The Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASH LYNX, MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY !!!  
> Whipped this up for my babie in between requests and commissions gfhdkdhs  
> He’s so important to me oh my god-

Time has proven itself to be many things.

It’s bitter and harsh yet passing and gentle. But it also creates a haze that blinds me as to how much of it has moved forward. 

Even with these passing, confusing years, I still made it back to you.

As I get closer to seeing you, I can only think back. Back to when we talked about now. What we would be doing, what we promised and swore to do all together. It was fun to talk about or even plan; but our lives never took the paths we wanted. Still, it was nice to think about.

Though now, I can’t help but regret not taking you home sooner. You would have loved it back home. The noise would of been exactly the same, I can’t deny that, but you would of been free. Nobody hunting you down, nobody conspiring against you, never having touch a gun again just to _live your life_. I stayed there a lot longer than I meant to. I got caught in picturing what our life there would have looked like. So I have to apologize for taking so long.

But here I am now. I came back to you.

I lose my breath as I stand in front of you. Here  _ you  _ are.

I gasp, my throat closing, “...Hi.” I choke out.

“Hi, Ash.” my voice fails me; “I’m back for you.”

My eyes burn, but I can’t help it. I just let the tears fall.

Everything in my body feels so so heavy, so I just let my legs give out. The grass is soft beneath me, but it doesn’t ease the pain at all. I wail. I’ve been holding it in for far too long. I don’t mean to cry in front of you, but I missed you so much. Plastic crinkles underneath me and I remember exactly what I’m holding.

“Um..” I wipe my face, “Sorry, I got too distracted.”

I laugh a bit to myself, finding my tears a bit silly; “I brought these for you! You never told me your favorite flower, but these remind me of you.”

A bouquet of sunflowers wrapped with an orange ribbon. Adoration, loyalty, and strength. It’s exactly how I would describe you. The wind blows as cold as it can be in New York, I can only hope your flowers survive with it. 

The bright yellow clashes with the grey stone that holds you name. Your tombstone is so cold. It makes me think to how I would hold you. Your hand, your face, or you entirely as you would sob into my chest or lap. I miss that warmth, comfort, sense of  _ home _ I had in your arms.

But this is all I can do now.

I sit next to the cold stone containing your name and pull out the small meal I packed. Natto, which makes me chuckle. 

"It's really quiet up here, you must enjoy it." 

It's already reaching noon so I just start speaking to you about anything. What I've been doing these past four years, what everyone else has been doing. And about how dull it's been without you.

But today isnt enough to describe everything on my mind, tomorrow wont be either. Or this week, month, or year. I dont think I'll be able to find enough time to describe what your death caused, the ripples in the water that are still affecting me. I know you would say something about how I need to grow up and move on, but I dont want to. It seems thats what a lot of people want me to do in order to be happy, is move on and forget about you. 

I can’t ever do that as I'm happiest when I remember every moment I had with you. 

You were, no,  _ are, _ my compliment and I never want to forget that. Yes, it hurts. But it's something I'll never regret.

I'll heal, I'll be ok. But you and the memories we made will always be a part of me. So I'll keep thinking back to that time.

To a time long past me. 

These feelings, this love is ingrained into me. And as long as it is, I'll keep coming back to you, and you to me. We'll always be friends;

"So never forget that."

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out my commission post if you can !  
> I’m in a bit of a pinch right now and need all the help I can get T-T  
> https://linktr.ee/starryheadache


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